On Saturdays we take the kids over to see Selah. Selah was stressed when we got there and got more stressed with the kids there. It seems she is aware of them more. It's funny because she showed she was more irritated by getting stiffer but her heart rate never went up over 120 and her blood pressure was fine. I'm taking that as a good sign. She calmed right down after they left. It was like although she was upset, she handled it.
Later I went back over and worked with her. I sat her on the edge of the bed and gave her some support and worked her on a side to side motion and up and down. She didn't like up & down...I was laying her on the bed and bringing her up. At one point she pushed away from me. I like that she did that! She held her head up some on her own. I certainly do think that although I have to give her alot of support, it is easier to have her up than it was even a couple of weeks ago. I also put her in the car seat for awhile and she did fine. I put her to bed and she went right to sleep!
December 4th will be 30 days on fish oil...I'm looking forward to that date. It's not a "magic" date but I'm hoping that by then we will be seeing major changes. My emotions are up & down alot more lately. I'm hopeful but afraid she will be the one that the fish oil doesn't work for or that she is so brain damaged that even if she comes out of the coma, her brain damage will be so bad that there will be no change. Fish Oil is being used to treat brain damage also, so I have to remind myself of that constantly.
I got really sad today walking through Toys R Us. Someone wanted to do something for the children and asked for some suggestions. It was more than I could do. Everything I looked at just hurt to look at....toys that she has, her Princess ride on, and me thinking she is not even interested in string (her favorite toy- YES string......that's what she had to play with and she was quite addicted to any type of string) It took all my self control not to completely lose it in Toys R Us! It's hard....it's hard to see the little children with her. I can't help but compare her to them...and although they are both very delayed, they aren't as delayed as she is now. It's sad to see Shad and Steve talk to her, there is such a sweetness but a sadness there. Sorry to be down, but we are just holding on as hard as we can.
But more than anything I remind myself that God took the time to send someone to me in the mall ( he knew where to find me lol) months ago to prepare me for this and to tell me "do not be afraid" So when the fear comes, I remind myself of that conversation. And believe me, the fear comes, it can be debilitating at times. I just have to take a deep breath and remind myself that "life is short, eternity is long" and that our lives are in His hands....
So I'm resting tonight in that peace.....
Please remember to bring Selah's name up to God's throne tomorrow morning in prayer....
"Our life maybe a crazy life but it's our life" I'm married to a pastor of a small rural church, who is also the prison chaplain. We have 5 kids, each with their unique story. I love gardening & we all love the outdoors. Our life is not the way we planned it to be, but we are learning to trust God in every area. Come and read about our life as we live it to the fullest!
Yvonne, I relate to your posts so painfully much. My daughter had a severe brain injury 7 years ago. I can remember feeling so many of these same things just like it was yesterday. The ups and downs, the things that gave me hope one day and a broken discouraged heart the next. It was such a scary and painful roller coaster. I just want to encourage you with this. Selah needs time. Lots of time. It's hard to understand, but she just isn't going to recover in a day or a month. She needs time. I know it's soooo hard to do, but try not to let the bad days get you too down because she needs time. I pray especially for you a lot. Because I'm a mom and I know how a mom feels. I pray for Selah as well, but my heart specifically aches for you.
ReplyDeleteThe steadfast love of The Lord never ceases.
His mercies never come to an end.
They are new every morning, new every morning.
Great is thy faithfulness, oh Lord.
Great is thy faithfulness.
Praying for you all, Yvonne. You have been at this SO long, so very long. Not trying to share platitudes with you :-), but this verse did come to mind so I hope it's ok I share it.
ReplyDeleteIsaiah 40:31
31 but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
Hi Yvonne! When I went to the Basas family RR site it says they have $8000.
ReplyDeleteDo you know what it needs to read so they can bring both kids home? I just thought that might help your readers know where they are. I am so tickled that Selah followed directions, "Let's get up!" Wow! God and I are talking daily about coughing! I'm keeping all of you in my prayers.
Read ya, will do...ugh, so feeling this...hang tight with each other...
ReplyDelete(((Hugs)))) always praying. I wish there was more that I could do for you, for your family. We love you all.
ReplyDeleteYvonne, I'm so glad that you write about how you really feel and don't pretend to be "upbeat" all the time when you are in such an intense situation. We can pray for your down times if we know that you have them. If we don't know, we can't "partner" with you in prayer for those times. It is a good, good thing that you share the truth. I am praying for YOU today as you continue living out all that Selah's circumstances mean for you and her and your family.
ReplyDeleteIn our own family situation (which is not nearly as intense as yours, not even close, but is painful just the same), we very often try to "make the best of things," so people don't always know when we are hurting, and I know that is not a wise choice on my part. I know that people can't pray for me "intelligently" if they don't know what is going on. When I read your posts, I remind myself to ask my friends for prayer and to tell them what is really happening. You are making a wise and I think godly choice each time you choose to acknowledge that this is all so painful and so difficult for you. You are giving people the opportunity to not only pray for Selah, but also for YOU.
Love,
Shawnee
I agree with the first commenter, recover takes a lot of time. The body has to do a lot of work to fix damage in the brain. Recovery goes on for a year at least. Hopefully the fish oil gives her body more of what it needs to repair the damage and you'll see more recovery than without it.
ReplyDeleteMy heart aches for you and we 're praying for your precious one and your family. Thanking God for all the little ways she is responding and changing and that she has parents who love and advocate for her.
ReplyDeleteLove, the Adamson