Day 26 Fish Oil study

I can finally say with assurance in my heart that Selah is waking up....

I hesitant at times to say things because I am such a realist but the last two days I have seen so much emotion from her.  Whenever I come in her room she lifts her head and shoulders off the bed and leans toward me.  This afternoon when I came in, she did that and I sat on the side of the bed and held her.  Then I put her down and she made a "cry face" and lifted her head and shoulders towards me, so I picked her up and sat in the rocker with her!!!  She frowns at the nurses. she listens to Jon on the phone and turns her head whichever way I put the phone.  Tonight she has been moving her left arm/hand while holding on to a toy I put in her hand.  I've never seen her do that.  She is doing a movement similar to what a baby might do with a toy for the first time!

It is amazing to us! 

Her therapist says she feels daily a difference in her body and how she holds herself up....

ENT came and saw her as there was concern about her vocal cords.  Our ST felt maybe they had been damaged but they looked fine.  Ortho came in and did xrays on her feet to give us a better idea about the surgery and care she will need.  Her ankles have remained tight no matter what was tried.  So she will probably have to have her tendons cut and some botox to give her full range of motion. 

She still keeps spiking fevers so it looks like we won't be going to Florida on Tuesday.  It will probably be put off a week, so now we are looking at Dec 10 or 11th for her to leave.  What she has now is considered viral pneumonia, if it is even pneumonia.  She only gets a fever once or twice a day usually early morning.  She has lots of gunk that I have actually enjoyed suctioning out:)   She manages to get alot out of her trach on her own and we have to clean that too.  It is good she is bringing it up on her own at times. 

So no "storming" for 26 days:)

We are so thankful and happy:)

Tonight we had snow, about 1 inch and the boys played on their sleds!  Finally!  The LOVE the snow and now want more!  It had snowed so much that we changed our plans.  We had planned to go to MT Morris to eat supper with our good friends but were a bit concerned about driving in the snow so we stayed here.  After we ate and played in the snow, I was able to come and spend time with Selah:)

Watching the snow tonight, walking in it, remembering the crunch of the snow under my feet, and feeling the brisk air was just wonderful and magical....then thinking about my little girl who is starting to want her mommy to hold her, it just was almost more than my heart could bear!

I just thank God for these wonderful changes.  And I thank all of you who have carried Selah's name to throne of God on a daily or even more frequent basis.....  We have trusted God through these past almost 16 weeks and He has been more than faithful to us!  But even if these changes had never come, God was still faithful to us.  He is a faithful God, through the good times and bad times.   I've never felt God under girding like I have during this time, from the very second I saw the ambulances and started running, He has been with me! 

I just want to encourage you, no matter what you are going through, to give it to God and lean on Him.  He will be your strength.  If you read through my blog, you will see how God was with me and He can be with you just like that!  He is no respecter of persons, He doesn't love me anymore than He loves you!  I'm no special spiritual christian....I can promise you that....   I'm a mess and a half and will be the first of many to say that!  I don't think my prayers were so perfect and full of faith that God just decided to do something for us.  I think if anything we've been like the widow woman in Jesus' parable in Luke 18

The Parable of the Persistent Widow

18 Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. ² He said: “In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared what people thought. ³ And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, ‘Grant me justice against my adversary.’

⁴ “For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, ‘Even though I don’t fear God or care what people think, ⁵ yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won’t eventually come and attack me!’”

⁶ And the Lord said, “Listen to what the unjust judge says. ⁷ And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? ⁸ I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?”

So that was the bible verse I clung to in the darkest nights...  And please don't think that this is some sort of doctrine to get something from God, I am also not saying that!  But when we prayed we prayed and left it with God.  We did not demand anything from His hands, we didn't claim her healing, we did not speak life to her body.  We simply asked God to have mercy on us and on Selah.  I for one, do not believe God owes me anything as a Christian.  To believe that is to say He owes me more than He owed all the saints of God of the past 2,000 years who went through torture and heartaches....  In life we will all have trouble and heartache.  It amazes me how we take for granted God when everything is going good but let something bad happen, then all of a sudden we are mad at God and blame Him for every bad thing in the world.  Recently several people have said things like that to me....they are so mad at God.  When God didn't move like they wanted Him to do, then they go from ignoring Him completely to blaming Him.....

Folks, God is not a genie in the bottle.  Now you might say I can sit here and say this because my daughter is getting better.....let me tell you I've been in plenty of situations where the outcome, was not the outcome I wanted but yet I knew God was still a good God.   Through this whole time, God has given me the strength to put one foot in front of the other....there were days I actually thought my heart would break and I would go blind from crying. I did not want to talk to anyone on the phone, I couldn't eat,  I grieved....and I wan not convinced that she would get any better.  Oh I hoped so but I am a realist to the tenth degree....and I've seen alot of things medically, so I had no false hopes. 

What if she would have died or never ever responded to us?  I still knew the God of this Universe was with us and I had the eternal Hope of Heaven and I knew one day she would be whole.  That is what I have clung to.....and that alone and the fact I do know the God of this Universe and I walk with Him.  I don't mean that pridefully but humbly.

Let me tell you, the peace of God is worth putting down any sin for!  There is NOTHING that compares to it.  I don't have the words to describe it, but I am so thankful for it!  To be able to know that there is an eternal hope beyond this life and that I can depend on God no matter what comes....what a blessing.  It's not worth hanging on to bitterness, it's not worth anything on this earth!

There is still a long road ahead for us but we will have God with us.....  thank you for your prayers for our girl and for us also to stay strong in our faith!






I will post the ABC interview as soon as it comes on line, it was great and our doctor was so positive:)